Pants magic, pants

Pants magic, pants (pants magic, pants)
Pants magic, pants (pants magic, pants)
Put that baby spell on me
Bump magic, bump (bump magic, bump)
Bump magic, bump (bump magic, bump)
Put that magic bump on me
Slap that baby, make him free


I finally saw Labyrinth. Here are my immediate reactions:

• Do people still use screen savers? Maybe they do (I just realized I don't know). There were parts of this movie that would make a pretty good one.
• Sarah was a total jerk. I spent a few minutes thinking "it's a shame how villains are always isolated and looking out a window from a dark room." But then I was more like, "no. she's the villain. That baby would be LUCKY to get rescued from a mean sister who seems like a jerk and is overly dramatic and doesn't seem nice or anything." That girl was totally unlikable. 
• That baby made me so sad. He was crying and surrounded by pretty scary looking things. I can't imagine his mom didn't regret her decision to let her baby do this. I figured he had to be someone's kid, like- someone who worked on the movie. That's kind of the only way you can get away with doing something like that to a baby- be so invested in the project that you'll bring your own kid to work and put them in that position. (I saw the baby's last name in the credits and it was the same as another person, so that answered that.)
• If I ever end up in a labyrinth like this one (34 years without it- fingers crossed I keep up the good work!) I'll just climb up on the wall because it looks wide enough to walk on. Then I can get a baby rescued, see David Bowie, and get home to my stuffed animals faster.
• When she fell into those hands I thought things might get a little Phantom Tollbooth-y and I was strangely disappointed by that. (Seriously, I loved that book, but when faced with it in this scenario it wasn't going to work.) Fortunately I was wrong.
• The whole "THIRTEEN HOURS" thing was a little crazy to me. If D.B. really had all that power, why even bother giving her any time? But then you start thinking like that, and where do you stop, and then why bother seeing a movie anyway because you're just picking things apart. Suspend disbelief, self, and accept it. Otherwise you'd just be watching a girl driving a grey jetta, going to work every day, paying back student loans, eating some spaghetti, forgetting everybody's birthday, ironing a dress, pushing her glasses up her nose again, being pretty alright with directions, and occasionally eating $8 popcorn and Milk Duds she snuck in to a theater.